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  • #babes
  • 7 hours ago
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moniker-padacklyte:

jolivet:

simon-the-jewish-vampire:

snarkreactors:

I had my hands full but I needed to turn on my light

so I just used my mouth and flicked the switch up with my tongue

and then I realized

imageq

uh

oh

WHY DOESN’T THIS HAVE MORE NOTES?! THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!!

THIS IS THE BEST

the best part is you literally turned him on

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ohhowlucky:

danteogodofsoup:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

standupcomedyblog:

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

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  • #yooooo #omfg
  • 1 week ago
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  • #people do not understand me when i say assbutt #assbutt
  • 1 week ago
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greybeardjim:

luchia13:

-everdeen:

two lovers

forbidden from one another

a war divides their people

and a mountain divides them apart

build a path to be together

yeah i forget the next couple lines but then it goes

SECRET TUNNEL

SECRET TUNNEL

THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS

SECRET SECRET SECRET SECRET TUNNEL

yyyeah

*power chord*

….and dieeeeeee

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  • 1 week ago
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shieldshawk:

dr-laufeyson:

iamrockandwheat:

staff:

Hail Hydra

Tumblr has been compromised.

…did they just?

omg they did.

Well then.

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klefable:

i am constantly torn between ‘i dont need anyone’ and ‘hey you please fall in love with me’

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